The third child was born in the family.
Nowadays, not every woman decides to have a second child, but to acquire a third one needs to be determined, full of strength and ready for anything ...
Let us give an example of a woman who has a happy family, a loving husband, a career and two wonderful children. And everything seems to fit well into the life course (in an apartment, a budget and a tight schedule of an endless stream of affairs). But what motivates a woman to have children again? And how to overcome the fear of lack of money, suspension of career growth, as well as a lack of love and attention for all children?
Why do parents "decide on the third"?
The most common reasons that encourage a woman and a man to acquire another heir are:
- Love for small children. Very often, when children grow up and reach school age, parents feel the desire to surround with the care and love of another little toddler. Especially in families for which children are in the foreground and their upbringing does not make their parents at all, but on the contrary, it brings joy.
- The desire to create a large and strong family.A woman and a man initially dream of a big and friendly family.
- The desire to give birth to a child of the other sex. If the first two times did not succeed in having a child of a certain sex, then the parents do not stop at what has been achieved and boldly follow the “third”.
- "Last chance". Some women closer to the age of 40 begin to feel the inexorable approach of old age, and again they want to feel young and prove that they can still give life to a little man and give him all their life wisdom and love.
Assess your strength really
Whatever the reasons causing the desire to give birth to a woman of another child, it is always worth soberly assess their strength. Future baby is not a pet that you really want to have. After all, even for him need careful care and extra love and affection. And in order to grow a person from a small person, you will probably have to try very hard. And statements like those: “Well, why don't you find an extra plate of soup for one more?” Are not appropriate here. Therefore, first of all, the mother must weigh the pros and cons, both materially and morally.Because it is she who is solely responsible for the future heir.
Namely, she must be 100% sure that she can provide her son or daughter with everything necessary, and not only in the near future, while the baby is only born, but also in the long term. After all, as you know, at the present time, education in schools and institutes is quite expensive and we should not forget about the rest of the children, who also need decent support. In addition to the training itself, it is worth remembering such unforeseen expenses as tutors and speech therapists. Of course, there is an opportunity to let things take their toll and wait until the child himself begins to speak well and study hard, but alas, this does not happen in all cases.
And it's not just the financial side of the issue. In practice, it often happens that when a mother has three children (especially if they are about the same age), then there is a catastrophic lack of time to communicate with each. But for children at any age, the support of the mother and her attention are very important for psychological self-confidence and proper overall development. The lack of affection and love is very depressing not only toddlers, but, including adolescent boys and girls.
Therefore, preparing or simply dreaming of becoming a mother for the third time, answer honestly to yourself the question: “Can I, with the advent of the baby, love all my children, just as before, spend my strength and nerves on their offenses, and maybe jealousy of the new to a family member? ”After all, we are responsible not only for the future man, who will come to our family, but also for those who are already in it.
Deciding on a third child, do not hope for additional help from outside. For example, if grandparents helped you very well with the first and second, then, as a rule, no one has much time to help with the third. Therefore, it is better to immediately tune in that you will have to cope with the first difficulties yourself. And if someone from relatives or older children agrees to help you in caring for a tiny little man, just thank you for your help. It is not worth forcing and especially scolding that no one agrees to share with you the care of the little one. After all, you gave birth to him for yourself and independently made this decision.
Many psychologists say that for parents a small child in the family, this is the second youth, and for someone, the third. This statement is hard to argue.After all, even the parents of the age have to remember and re-take the whole “course of the young fighter” in changing diapers, diapers and lead the same active lifestyle as their growing up baby. Especially a woman feels a powerful surge of hormones of youth, which increase with the next pregnancy and childbirth. The body is completely rebuilt in hormonal terms, which allows mommy to feel more invigorated, younger and more beautiful.
Among the advantages is the fact that some of the worries about a little brother or sister falls on the shoulders of older children. What gives them a huge advantage in character, they become more responsible and hardworking. Therefore, very often, the older ones grow up faster. They are the first to become independent and more adapted to life.
In addition, it is believed that children who grew up in large families, much better adapted to any team and grow more sociable and friendly.
Of course, with the advent of the third child, the family budget will have to be divided into a larger number of all family members.And it will be palpable for everyone, of course, except for those cases when older children are already old enough and live separately. Despite the fact that the state is trying to provide all possible assistance to large families, it will still not be enough to cover all costs. That is why it is easy and, without hesitation, only wealthy people have the opportunity to decide on one more family member.
It is also worth being prepared for the fact that all the children are different and if the two first tots were residually calm and docile in character, then it’s not a fact that you are just as lucky with the third. It is possible that the baby will be quite active and capricious. It is even possible that he will manifest some hereditary diseases, which the elders did not have.
With the advent of the third child, the jealousy of the elders has not been canceled. The main thing here is to competently explain to children that a newborn, by virtue of age, right now needs increased attention from the mother.
The birth of the third child in the family without a doubt will bring even more trouble and fuss, but now you will have three times more love. Happiness to settle in your house and bored you now just do not have to.And if moms with two children claim that they literally run around the apartment to be in time, then with three children you will just fly, and life will turn out much faster.