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If you do not have depression - find it. And it will pass too. Days drag on a heavy chain of crows flock with the feeling of something unreasonably terrible coming. A caw falls on you from the sky, erecting over you a dome of anxious expectation of imminent fading.
The eyes smoothly flow from one corner of the bowl to the other and together with the picture the degree of filling of the glass, completely cut, changes. Depression never comes to an empty house. She mentally prepares you for herself in advance, in your every dim look, in every shoulder fatigue, in the impossibility to sit comfortably in a chair, in a misunderstanding. Depression, she is a lady in black, lowers her benevolence on your drooping head and blesses you on the hard way back home, so lost you in your spiritual pools.
Your pride does not allow you to discern a blessing from a curse, and again you are moving away from yourself renouncing everything that is beyond your senses.
The lady in black is not alone, as it may seem at first glance. You are alone, and she is surrounded by her loyal friends of death and madness. They are always ready to replace each other, you just give a sign, tell them what you lack to start living. And now, you are already sitting and watching a movie, incendiary music is playing, you are shocked by the change of personnel and how exactly they coincide with the subtle intimacy of your own experiences of yourself, you feel as if you were fully understood that there is a person on this round grain, who knows what you are so stubbornly silent all his years.
And it captures you, you feel that this is it, you get up and go live. You will never be so happy without absorbing a lady in black without a trace, brazenly appropriating it to yourself, turning to face her and seeing her beautiful face for the first time, embracing her and crying for a long time with happiness on her mother's shoulder. Your pain will disappear at the same moment.
It is strange to realize that she was directing you to the house all this time. Your fear whispered you to turn away from her, but she was insistent in her intention to save you. In your fear, she is stronger than ever, in your horror she finds for herself food to understand you, you try to distance yourself from her and attract her more and more.Then she falls in love with you and begins to live only by you, sacrificing yourself for the good of your life.
Depression is the shadow of your mother in your soul.
You will truly understand what pain is, when you lose it in the field of sensation of your heart, then you will understand what emptiness is. The lady in black deserves respect. And attention. Your feelings of despair and longing are very important. Stay in them.
Fun and calm, too, to you to face, however, like a smile. Your smile pleases her, she wishes you happiness, and even if you fight with her, even if you methodically kill her with a new portion of pills and money packs, she will still wait politely aside, relying on your Ego, supporting him in the chaotic collapse.
She comes to you only when you are at the peak of your strength, without saying a word about your ability to destroy it with one breath of your soul.
The lady in black came as the Savior of your soul, to save you from life and to offer you life in you. Her friends can offer you much more, but this is only if you will be even stronger than you are now. And the absurd is the truth.